Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you; unless, of course, you fail the test? 2Cor 13:5
I did an assessment of myself and realized I have been complaining a lot recently, and I have not been easy with words. I complained about my job, finances, everything to whoever cares to listen.
Oh, I know we are supposed to be thankful about every situation we find ourselves, but I have not been able to refrain myself from indulging in a little too much of whining… it did feel good to throw some pity-party.
Then I also realized I have been entertaining a lot of fears about the future especially concerning the promises that God gave me and the things I am waiting on him for. I have entertained a lot of discouragement and distress.
I really tried to analyze what could be happening to me, one moment I was so strong in faith, and the next I am so discouraged and distressed as if the devil let all hell loose on me. I asked someone if she ever felt like this before; you know some questions that come up when you are waiting for the fulfilment of Gods promises to you. Thoughts like ‘will these ever happen? Have I been deceiving myself, am I being unrealistic? ‘She said yes, and I asked her how she got through those times?
Then, she made me know I have not been walking in faith. I had drifted away from faith and drifting towards fear. It dawned on me that this was my current state of mind. I was no longer waiting in faith. My faith level wasn’t strong enough to hold me through times, when the devil brings thoughts into my head. Yes the devil will always come with thoughts to make you doubt what God has promise you, but you don’t have to make the thoughts take root in you, if you have the word of God already so planted, then the weed-thoughts of the devil will have no place to grow.
Faith indeed comes by hearing and fear also comes by hearing. But while faith comes by hearing the word of God, fear comes by hearing every other word that is not of God… whether the words are reasonable, realistic or of fact. Only the Word of God is true, and every other opinion not in line with it, no matter how factual they look are not truths and will eventually lead to fear!…
So I finally made a connection between what I have been saying, which is the first thing I have been hearing before I drifted away from faith. I have not been thankful, and have been full of complaints, because all I heard myself say were not words of God, but the way I feel and the facts I see; these have reduced my faith level and drifted me towards fear. Also because I have literally disobey the command to not grumble or complain and many other commands like being thankful, it was easy for the spirit of discouragement to come.
There is a connection between what you say and your faith level, yes, there is a connection.
What then should I do?
I have to be more deliberate in giving thanks, and refraining from complaints (God help me)
I have to also align my thoughts with the word of God and this comes by continuous meditation on the scriptures.
With these in place, the victory God promised is sure.