I feel You.
Now I know how You feel when Your children walk away from You in their quest for independence and try other gods.
I have heard many a speaker tells us that when people leave us, we should let them go…….they were with us for a reason and for a season.
But they never tell you how to deal with the rip that cuts through your heart and continually tries to pull it out from the socket.
They don’t talk about that weird sound of emptiness that echoes you breathe.
No, they don’t talk about how alone you will feel even in a crowd.
They won’t tell you how every time you try to smile, your eyes clouds over with tears.
And you are never prepared enough for the onslaught of images and memory flashes.
A very close friend of mine once called me in the middle of the night. She was tearing up inside. She had just dropped her beloved daughter in boarding school and she was not prepared for the pain that ripped through her heart that night.
We talked a lot and I laughed at her a lot. I had always reckoned her a strong woman, full of wisdom however seeing her breakdown like that for such a simple separation as going to school was very humbling but funny.
Yes Lord, I laughed a lot. But am not laughing now…..not anymore.
Experience was a wonderful teacher to me. Her lessons were brutal but clear…..
“The children You have given to us are for signs and wonder”……not for keeps”.
As parents, we’re just to guide and care……but they ultimately belong to YOU and YOU alone.
“I heard You Sir”.
But it hurts, it just hurts.
Every time we let people into our hearts, for whatever reasons we do that, there is always a “Heart-connection”. And believe me Lord, it is always difficult to release them from that heart connection.
Whether they leave for a while, or forever, for that which is good or for bad, they take a piece of our heart with them.
It hurts Lord, it just hurts…..somewhere inside.
For good? Well, it heals good.
For bad?….It leaves a scar.
My country is sitting helpless Lord, watching the good and the wise leave it. My friend just left……For a good thing.
Lord, it hurts. It just hurts.
Our land flows with milk and honey…Prove it!
I have lost very important people in my life. Seen so many a loved ones lose too….and they say they have gone to Heaven to be with You….
Why dont You just come to Earth and be with us?
It hurts Lord, it just hurts.
What am saying is……it doesn’t matter what you lose…..a job, a friend, a parent, a child, a contract, an idea, a trust……it hurts Lord….it just hurts.
Can I ask You Lord that You spare us the pains?
Can I ask that You make all things beautiful again?
Fine……..In Your time!
But Can I ask that You heal everyone going through any sort of pain now?
That You help our Land?
Can I ask that You bring only the good people our way…..into our hearts…. so that when they eventually leave us, the heart will heal and not hold a scar?
Can I ask that You come already, I think we are ready……but am not sure.
Can I ask You to take care of those that left us for good and forgive them that left us for bad?
And Lord? It hurts. I really hurt.
This is Your daughter and I am checking in.