You are not alone:
It was back-to-school week and to make the day memorable, I took some pictures of my children who are all returning to school and share them with my contacts on Instagram. I carefully selected the best of the best to share with my friends. The presence of camera on phones has afforded us with opportunities of taking multiple pictures, so I took multiple pictures and carefully selected only the ones that I considered presentable. Why do I care about the pictures that I shared on the Internet? This simple question presented another learning moment that is worthy of sharing to encourage you that “You are not alone”.
Many people use social media as a veil to hide their real and true self. We only project and share with the world what we only want them to see, just like I shared the pictures that I found fanciful. Every day, people deal with different struggles and challenges, some minor, while others can be daunting. The real issue is that most people either do not want to discuss these challenges with others in order not to appear vulnerable or they simply have no one to discuss with. And so, they present their best self to the world and to people around them as if they have everything all figured out. They appear happy and confident, despite the many struggles and challenges around them – some struggle in their finances, in their relationship, career, health, and many more.
A problem shared is a problem solved is a common saying. What if you know that your situation is not unique? What if you know that there are other people like you that have confronted and surmounted similar challenges in the past? What if there is someone else out there who had gone through a similar situation and can guide you out of that your present predicament?
The various incidents of sexual harassment cases in the workplace has emboldened women to stand up and fight back by creating the #MeToo movement. This movement was created for the victims to bind together and fight a common enemy. This movement is telling other women or men who have been victims that they are not alone.
Due to the nature of my business as a life coach, I have met with and listened to various people shared their personal stories with me. I have met a Dad struggling to make ends meet and needing to choose whether to pay his child’s school fees or miss payment on his house rent. I have listened to a wife struggling to juggle the demand of office and being there for her daughter music recital. I know of a high school senior who wants to have fun with his colleague and who also need to work after school hours so that he can save towards his college education. I have mentored a young graduate that just got a job in sales who have no clue how to approach potential clients. I have spoken with a man who had just been diagnosed with cancer and suddenly became uncertain of the future, he is concerned about what will become of his family if the illness ended up taking his life. I have listened to a woman who is about to give up on her marriage because her college sweetheart was no longer the sweet man she married many years back. I know of a business man who is unsure whether to continue his business or close it down because of lack of sales.
What if we can create another movement? A movement that tells these people that they are not alone. What if there is someone that can reassure the man struggling with his finances that things will get better and share with him practical experiences how he got through the same struggles to the other end? What if the idea about time management that has helped a mother is shared to help that working mom prioritize her time so that she can be best at work and still be there in the evening for her child’s after hour program? Can we tell the man that was diagnosed with cancer that it does not have to lead to death because there are cure now? It will go a long way if someone shares their life experience in marriage with a woman contemplating divorce, counseling them to heal her relationship.
No matter what you are going through, you are not alone. There is someone out there that have walked similar path and came out undamaged. There is someone saying #MeToo about your current situation. They are not coming out to tell you or saying it loud enough because they are afraid. They are unsure about what to do or how to take the steps that will help them get out of their current predicament. They are afraid of exposing their vulnerabilities because they don’t want to be stigmatized. It does not have to be this way. The real and true life comes with occasional challenges and mistakes. Stop dealing with your pain all alone, it is time to find a confidant and shoulder to cry on, it is time to reach out to others that may help bring healing back to you. That is one of the core reasons that I created my mastermind group – Winners Ways. I want people that have succeeded in certain areas of lives to help other people find success too. Find us on Facebook and join our group. In the meantime, here are some things to think about in case you are being confronted by some challenges and you don’t know what to do;
3 WAYS TO COMBAT DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.
“Just knowing you’re not alone is often enough to kindle hope amid tragic circumstances.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,
- Trust:Find people in your circle of relationship that you can trust. Trust birth trust. Learn to be vulnerable with people. It is not a bad thing, it only shows that you are human and being vulnerable communicate to others that they can trust you too. Also let them know that you can be there for them when they need you too. One good turn always deserves another. The key thing here is trust, ensure that information you shared with these people will remain confidential and they are people you can share your vulnerabilities and weaknesses with.
- Reach out:It is okay to reach out to others sometimes when life happens. You do not have to manage and resolve every issue by yourself. You can tap into and learn from someone’s experience, you don’t have to experience it all by yourself. Find someone whose life’s experience can be of help to you, be not ashamed about discussing your challenges with them. You can lean on them and let them guide you out of your difficult situation.
- Change your perspectives:It’s so easy to get frustrated and become overwhelmed by life circumstances sometimes. You can start feeling better if you put things into perspectives and realize that you are not alone and that your situation is not really the worst. If you shift your focus to those things that are working well in your life, you will be able to find some comfort and develop the confidence to press forward and confront the unpleasant situation head on. You may not get the result that you desire, but you will be happy that you tried your best.